


Fireflies

by Yougaythen



Category: Ballum, EastEnders
Genre: However doesn’t end with it, M/M, This does contain a brief detailed panic attack, ben having the panic attack over a thunderstorm, its still completely soft with caring Callum, tw // panic attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 03:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26060011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yougaythen/pseuds/Yougaythen
Summary: When summer gives way to a storm Ben has a panic attack, Callum comforts him through it and a few days later takes him to see the beauty of the fireflies!
Relationships: Ballum - Relationship
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	Fireflies

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer!! These are my own personal experiences, in no way am I down playing or making fun of this fear. I personally experience panic attacks from storms and wrote this to help talk about that. I believe that they aren’t shown enough as a fear because so many people love them.

Falling asleep in the burning heat was never their favourite thing to do, not that they’d had too many opportunities to do it but since summer was rolling round they knew it was already going to mean a lack of bedtime snuggles, no arms lazily draping over each other, and a lack of being too close, Ben craving Callums hand to be tangled in his hair and sleepy kisses, Callum longing for the way Ben’s lips meet the delicate skin of his cheeks, home. 

But as the blistering sun gave way to that of the closest storm they found themselves bundled up inside away from it all, rain thumping against the windows and splashing up against the walls, the whole mood of the flat down, tucking themselves under the duvet for the first time in weeks and the coldness hit their bare chests they both shivered slightly 

Callum allowing his arms to find Ben’s body and curling them around its delicate shape, placing a kiss to the back of his neck he held him tightly, Ben’s face lay low, his smile washed away with the first few droplets of rain and no one understood like Callum did. “It’s going to be okay I’m here” is all Callum needed to say, the lack of words not to cause a sense of being overwhelmed in Ben’s mind as Callum ensured that he was asleep before drifting off himself. 

By the time morning came round the sounds of the rain were worse, smashing against the flat windows with each gust of wind pulling Callum from his sleepy state. Immediately checking on whether it had woken Ben, to be met with that slightly opened mouth boy he was madly in love with, eyes still shut and the tiniest snores and Callum felt okay. Deciding to try allowing Ben get as much sleep as possible he shuffled out of the bed, pushing the duvet around Ben’s back trapping in and heat and gently walking out into the main flat, the chill hitting him, grabbing a jumper from the hook he slid it on, picking up the tv remote and flicking through the channels looking for something to occupy his mind for a while until he’d hear Ben stirring. 

Settling on some news show he made a mental note it was set to turn to kids tv later that morning, something about it being Saturday morning tv. The sound of the radio joining in, mirroring that of the tv. Callum deciding to pull out two bowls, spoons and the boxes of cereal ready for when Ben woke up. 

When storms were imminent he always tried to make the day as normal as possible, keeping Ben busy but not overwhelmed, it all led back to the the first October night, the sky had been perfectly blue all day not a single cloud but by night the crashes and bolts threw themselves to the floor Ben’s body immediately tensing in Callums arms when each noise came, the darkness hiding his true fears, counting in his head numbers, the way he’d been taught when he first went to get help, his heart racing against Callums hand where it lay upon his chest. Typically Ben would refuse anyone near him when this happened, letting down his walls proving too much but by this point Callum knew every tiny part of Ben, the good and bad and still he loved him. A few days after they discussed the situation, Callum taking a crying Ben into his arms where he eventually fell asleep, exhausted by the previous. 

The moment he heard Ben stirring though bowls were abandoned and retuning into the bedroom Callum found Ben, eyes marginally open with the duvet bunched up around his face, the parts of his eyes Callum can see are slightly red, although he doesn’t think he’d been crying, sitting himself down on the floor next to the bed he pushed his hand under the duvet, his hand becoming flush with Ben’s chest, the slight rise and fall of his breathing “you alright” “yeah, can you stay a little bit” “here or there” Callum gesturing over to the space behind Ben in the bed “here” he replied pulling the duvet down a little and moving forward to place a kiss upon Callums lips, pulling away after a few seconds “what’s the news saying” Ben questions “it will be okay, they said it might not come to anything” he chose his words carefully not wanting to reveal the fact the news had actually predicted storms most of the day. 

They stayed like that a while, Callum keeping a mental track of the way Ben’s heart beated faster each time the rain smashed against the window, Callum eventually suggesting they got up, slipping off his own hoodie and placing it around Ben’s coldened shoulders getting a smile from Ben, pulling him into a hug, placing a kiss to his neck. 

They sat and ate breakfast together, Callum turning off the tv, wing still forcing the rain into the windows, it bouncing off the ground below them, Callums hand together with Ben’s a gentle thumb rubbing over Ben’s, calm for even just a brief moment. 

The moments that followed were what Callum had been dreading, the hope that it wouldn’t happen yet as the flash hit the floor in the distance and loud rumble fled across the sky Ben immediately tensed, his heart pounding louder than the thunder itself, and those tears filling his eyes, Callums hand instinctively coming up to Ben’s chest the slight whisper of numbers bringing Ben back to the present without him being overwhelmed, each time the noise getting increasingly louder, tears streaming his face, the words of “I feel sick” leaving his mouth once or twice, them both moving to the bathroom, the coldness of the tiled floor on their feet, the bath supporting their backs as Ben closed his eyes shut, blocking out the individual flashes as hands grabbed at his ears in an attempt to block any sound. 

Callums face falling, it was these moments he wanted to make the sun come out and the world bright again. Take away the pain from Ben yet none of this was about him. This was about getting Ben through the storm until the next one, and they could both do this. 

As the storm started to fade, the rain falling becoming less and Ben’s heart and breathing pase returned to what Callum would call normal, keeping his hand still on Ben’s chest and one coming up to wipe the tear stains from his cheeks “I’m proud of you” Callum managed out “love you” Ben returns, his voice still shaky. Callum took him into his arms, them pulling away and rising to their feet, taking him in once again, and lips met against Ben’s forehead. 

They stayed cuddled up together the rest of that day, the feelings of Ben’s attack slowly lessening and less chance of him being overwhelmed. 

By a few days later you’d barely know that the storm had happened, the sun was shining bright, onto each building and heating up the air enough for shorts. 

The day they filled with going back to work, Callum reassuring Ben he was only a few minutes away and he’d be home instantly if he needed him to be. That the storm had long gone and off they went in their separate directions, a quick kiss separating them.   
The day was long without each other, Callum ringing Ben on his break to check he was alright and Ben locking up the carlot early to go meet him straight after he’d finished, the surprise of “why you here” with a confused look from Callum, an offering of a hand was all they needed to be heading home, back to the flat. 

“What’s that for” Ben asks, gesturing to the picnic basket and blanket on the unit top “we are going out tonight, my treat” Callum says taking Ben’s hand into his own “to show you something beautiful” he continued, “go get changed and we’ll head out” 

Out onto the heated streets they headed into the car, Callum putting the basket into the back before driving Ben out of the square and to the nearest field, at some point he’d already stopped by, setting up a little teepee type situation covered the area with fairy lights leading the way, an entire empty space just for them, no other sounds just the slight orange that was forming in the sky of the setting sun and the smell of fresh cut grass “it’s beautiful” Ben breathes out, moving himself into Callums arms swaying slightly as they kiss. 

Setting down the blanket just outside the already lined tent they sat down, the perfect view of the sun setting right in front of them, laying back they were a world away from where they were just a few days ago, Ben’s smile evident upon his face, he had his whole world there intertwined in his hand “packed all your favourite things” Callum says sitting up slightly resting on his elbows, “should we have them then” Ben continues flipping open the lid of the basket gasping slightly at the way Callum has presented everything, he has no idea when Callum actually put any of it together but he was so grateful for it. 

As night drew closer the clouds that had formed started to disperse across the horizon, shades of reds, purples and pinks mixed with the vivid orange filled the sky, neither of them had ever seen something so beautiful, “wait until it’s completely dark, I have a surprise for you” Callum says, that smile back on Ben’s face, the one that lights up anywhere without fail, Callum takes the opportunity of the sunset lighting to take a photo of them together, making a mental note to post it online the following day. 

The darkness grew over them, both taking the opportunity to lay back against the softness of the blanket, Ben falling atop Callums arm, Callum using it as an excuse to rub his shoulder, “this is the best, it’s beautiful” Ben says breaking the silence between them “look up there, this is the special part” Callum returns, that excited look of a child in a toy shop, the look that Ben will never get tired of seeing. 

Fireflies filled the skies above them, framing the blanket of darkness with lights like stars. They fluttered around, leaving their own trails of orange across the sky “thank you” Ben breathes out, placing a kiss to Callums cheek “what for” he questions “for showing me the world has so many beautiful things to offer and a storm can’t stop us from doing these things” he returns, shifting over slightly until their lips meet under the firefly lit skies. 

They stayed there until the summer chill set in, packing up and jumping back into the warmth of the car until they were home, back in the flat together curled up in bed fully asleep. 

Home with each other’s hearts.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, any questions feel free to ask them. As always kudos are appreciated!


End file.
